"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD." Isaiah 55:8

Our God is so vastly different from us, His power so incredible, the things He wills and accomplishes often make no sense at all. Yet over and over He proves His love for us. Over and over and over and over...

No matter how often we stumble and fall, nor how lonely and abandoned we feel, OUR GOD IS WITH US! 

Count your blessings. Name them one by one, starting with what God has done for you. He saved you from the pit of hell--quite literally! He washed away your sin! You are pure and clean in His sight; even though these sinful hearts still need refining. And He refines us--sometimes slowly and painfully. 

During my cancer, once everyone was gone for the day, I would sit on the couch and try to read my Bible. But sometimes I couldn't even do that. Just to sit up sometimes was to invite a swirling pool of nausea and dizziness to take over. I cried, many, many times. I struggled partially under what I felt was God's chastising, until I began to see the greater purpose in what He was doing. 

After that, while it took me a long time to embrace God's truth, He showed me over and over his love for me. He showed me that it was an honor to suffer, for Jesus had suffered for me. It was a blessing to suffer--God was teaching me humility, how to find strength in weakness, how to trust beyond trusting. I learned that suffering is a good, good gift, even if I don't understand it, feel I deserve it, or want it, because all God's gifts to His children are good. I learned to set fear aside--for even if I were to die--I will die to this flesh someday anyway. If I leave this world behind--Oh, Joy! For to leave this world behind means to leave all sorrow and suffering and pain, and to go home to my Jesus! Where can there be fear in that?!

God's thoughts are so much greater than our puny attempts at understanding. And likewise, we cannot know or comprehend His ways. But we know He loves us.

As I laid there upon my couch, staring out into the branches of our sweet gum, God sent little birds to cheer me. I watched my garden as it bloomed--and became almost overcome with weeds! I did not know if I would be able to do that simple chore ever again.

Slowly, slowly, God opened my heart to acceptance, then peace. The worries and anxiety, the fretting and loneliness, the physical weakness of my body were forgotten as I learned to rest in my LORD. I can truly say now that God's presence was very near to me. I slept, I read my Bible, I prayed, I slept some more. Hours that seemed long and anxious flew by. There was that deep and abiding peace and joy that the Bible promises us, the peace that passes understanding.

And I didn't understand. I still don't! But God gave to me a sweet, sweet time with Him, as I sang, and prayed, and slept and read. 

I pray that peace and rest for you today, as your body fights your cancer, and you are forced to rest physically--and spiritually as well.

He does all things well, and He is shaping you to be more like Him! Through your tears and helplessness, praise and worship Him today!